is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize