I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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