I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
