Soap is not a condiment
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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