If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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