Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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