Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
