sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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