i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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