Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
