garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
