My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
that's an acceptable place to lick
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
