you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is the high leading the old right now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
