hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
