I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
