Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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