He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
