'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
