Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
