anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
