Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
