I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize