i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
