Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
