One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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