fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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