why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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