I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
