Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
