shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
