you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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