dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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