20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
