Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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