weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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