On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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