New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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