I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
