I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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