At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
