i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
