Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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