At least make sure they are 18
Why
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
