Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
