erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its not stalking. its research.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
