Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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