If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
