Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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