Got a toothbrush?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
