Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
