do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
