We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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