Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
