I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So vagazzling was a success
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
