Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
