Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
