Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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