she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
