we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
