I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Everyone says I win the strip club
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
