its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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