i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize