my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize