Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
