Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
