Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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