okay pat passed out under dana's car
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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