She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
