Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize