you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
