I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
