Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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